Posted on by Nic O’loghlen

To quote Shakespeare what’s in a name?…… turns out quite a bloody lot actually Wills.

The naming process is such a tricky subject, and everyone has an opinion. We naturally relate names to things we love, hate and everything in between. As if it’s not a big enough responsibility to grow and carry your baby for 10 months – everyone lies and says 9 months but it’s defo 10 – we then have to have the huge task of choosing a name. As I find myself getting lost in the dark spiral that is baby forums on Google searching for inspiration, I have been flooded by memories hidden in my darkest psyche, mortal enemies I made on the school playground over a packet of space raiders hit me hard, just by the mere suggestion of a name.

Gone are the days you named your baby after your mum, long lost aunt or beloved family pet (delete as appropriate). There is now a phenomenon that I have been made aware of in Mummy circles which is spreading like a nit outbreak in a nursery – Name shaming. Name shaming is alive and well. As I become more obviously preggo, one of the first questions I found myself being asked almost on a daily basis is “have you got your name?”.

For the record haven’t got my name and when I tell people this I am met with “really? Not one, bet you just don’t want people to steal it.” I mean, there could be some truth in in this. But more importantly, I have narrowed down the list, but I am going to wait to I see her and see what suits her. 

I think the name dilemma is also partly due to the fact I am so attached to my own name with various versions of my surname developing over the years. I have been known to answer to the following Butts, Butterz and Buttface (chic, I know). When I got married exactly a year to the date that my maternity leave starts (a producer through and through!), I decided to keep my maiden name for work. I have a fear (probs irrational tbh) that if I change my surname that people will not know who is emailing them or I might get that dreaded response “oh it went in to my junk mail” (sure Susan, sure). 

I have contemplated lots of things about my daughter – will she be born with hair? Will she look like me? Will she sleep? Pleaseeeeee sleep. Will she have my love for trash TV? Hopefully she inherits my love of leopard print! One thing I know for sure is inheriting is a surname that she will forever have to spell out to people. Once we have the baby, I’m going to change my surname for everything but work. I married a man (a lovely man for the record) who has “one of those surnames” you know the one the ones you mumble over if you have to say out loud because your unsure of how it is actually pronounced.  Let’s not even get on to the spelling of it. It genuinely took me around a year to learn to spell it, I am pretty sure that most of my immediate family still cannot spell it.

I am no stranger to names that people struggle with, my Mum’s name is as Irish as a leprechaun drinking Guinness Siobhan-Magdalen-Brigette, yep not one but three names. Throughout my childhood I would answer the house phone (old school) to cold callers trying tackle the tongue twister that’s the silent B in Siobhan. “Hi, is Siobwwwwwwhan there?”.

With this in mind I have looked at various different ways of navigating this precarious name game:

Find your theme

Do you find your theme and stick to it à la the Kris Jenner/Kardashian clan? The pool of names you have to pick from shrinks dramatically, thus surely making your decision easier?

I like to think of my Gran as an early adopter of this, she had 5 kids and decided to have a Y in each of their rhyming names (q. diff. for the times). Big up my dad Martyn with a Y.

Traditional

It’s become pretty much tradition in the British press that in weeks the running up to a new Royal Baby the pages will be filled with speculation on the name. With the imminent arrival here are the bookies top predictions for Meghan and Harry’s baby’s name:

– Diana

– Alice

– Arthur

– Victoria

However, Meghan has shown she is not afraid to step away from the traditional royal life. I for one was living for the NYC baby shower – who doesn’t want to fly on a private jet and be waited on hand and foot when 8 months preggo? So maybe they will surprise us all and go for a wild card. My money is on Zoro.

The wild card

“No one wants the same name as everyone” this sentiment is echoed through and through as I chat through the name shame phenomenon with friends. The growing trend is to go for something “unusual”. At the same time no one wants their child’s name to be greeted with a reaction of “oh that’s different, how is that spelt?”.

I like to put the blame on Gwyneth for this trend with her daughter Apple, she has since said that Chris Martin picked the name. I for one am not sure he is to blame for the fruity name and quite often like to remind myself of ridiculous statements Gwyneth has made. I will leave you with this Gwyneth gem:

On her children’s nanny

“She’s French, so she’s teaching them French, and their previous nanny was Spanish, so they’re fluent in Spanish.”

Posted on by Nic O’loghlen

The challenge of dressing the bump

At the (literally) blossoming 6-month pregnancy mark, I am faced with the undeniable fact; as I expand, my wardrobe shrinks. Each morning I open my once adored treasure chest of a wardrobe, hoping for inspiration for a stylish maternity get up. Instead, a mocking abundance of items looks back at me, taunting, reminding me of my pre-pregnancy self. Admittedly, it does not help that I am a clothes hoarder, still ardently possessing T shirts I have had since I was 14 – that are the perfect shade of washed out black, may I add.

Always quietly relishing in the title of #effortlesslystylish in my pre-pregnancy days, I miss the freedom to chuck something on and feel, well, myself I suppose. However, two trimesters into growing my little human, I’ve turned a corner in the daily wardrobe battle. Although it’s been a journey, and not always a comfortable one, I am slowly learning how to navigate and dress my ever-expanding bump.

It does not help that the offering of stylish maternity wear is limited and seemingly revolves around functionality. Trusty tops that enable you to whip out a breast in one swift move, jeans that go up to your nipples and practical waterproof coats with 10,000 mum pockets. My main gripe lies with the wrap dress, with whom I am currently engaged in a love / hate battle. I wish I could be one of those glowing women floating around in a gorge wrap dress from Realizationpar, tanned with beachy hair and the perfect bump. Don’t get me wrong, I tried, but what looked back at me in the mirror told a slightly different story. Less beach babe and more beached whale. Turns out wrap dresses makes your already growing boobs look less abundant-earth-mother and more like something bordering on the obscene.

Whoever tells you won’t need to buy clothes when you pregnant is, quite frankly, lying. Your body grows, thickens, expands, swells and it does this all over. You will even need to buy new underwear (Marks and Spencer’s wireless bralettes are a must) and new tights (H&M, always). The largest items in your wardrobe will be tight in places you never thought of; even your feet can go up more than one shoe size (this can last post preggo).

Thankfully, I am no Meghan Markle, all eyes are not on me whilst I go about my day to day or in, Meghan’s case, cradle my bump on stage. However, as I become this ever-growing vessel, who is refusing to give up fashion along with booze and soft cheese, it has become imperative that I find a way to accommodate my growing body and still feel myself.

Here are a few essential items I have in my preggo wardrobe:

  •  The Stretchy Dress

The stretchy dress is easy to wear for everyday dress up or dress down. Zara have curated a corner on their site which houses all the current collection that works for your maternity bod (game changer – kudos to Zara). My black ribbed number with exaggerated sleeves gives major Morticia vibes, working both with Converse as well as a chunky hiking boot.

  •  The Over sized anything!

Before I was pregnant, I wore a lot if oversized dresses and jumpers. Ganni has saved the day for my maternity looks as any pieces I buy now, I know I will wear post pregnancy. Sister Jane also has great selection of oversized smock dresses with a modern silhouette at guilt free prices.

  • Maternity Jeans

An essential investment for everyday, Topshop do a great range that grow with your bump. These will see you throughout your whole pregnancy.

  • A Coat

If you want to, like most people in winter, actually do up your coat, your most likely going to have to invest in a new one. This has been the season of the oversized puffer, which works in any pregnant persons favor. Never the understated wallflower, I naturally invested in a leopard print knee length puffer from Whistles that feels practical without being mumsy.

Posted on by Nic O’loghlen

I’M NOT A NORMAL MUM, I’M A COOL TECH MUM

As I progress through my pregnancy, once forbidden conversations about bodily functions become the everyday norm. Other mums suddenly feel the need to offer unsolicited advice about cracked nipples and leaky pelvic floors (apparently trampolines become a big no-no I discovered in the Vogue lift) and the Dads-to-be, well that’s a whole other story. A case in point of the tone-deaf-baby-daddy was demonstrated in all its glory in a recent NCT class, in a pub (don’t ask). During a detailed conversation on perineal massage (warning: do not google at work) and an intense debate over which type of oil to use, I witnessed a birth partner devour a burger in approximately three giant greasy bites, proceeding to then slowly lick his fingers one by one. Burger John (names have been changed to protect identities) authoritatively concluded that olive oil was best. T.M.I. John, but thanks for sharing.

That being said, it is so important to be open about the huge effect that pregnancy has on your body, both positive and negative. Forget gooey goats cheese a glass of red, the thing I miss most about my pre-pregnancy days is the ability to freely get up in the morning without struggling like a dung beetle on its back. My morning routine now sees me tugging the pregnancy pillow from between my legs, sighing deep guttural breaths to conjure the energy to eventually roll onto my side. From here I swing my legs onto the floor with a defiant thud and begin the process of levering myself out of bed. Not the most gracious of wake ups. With all the strides we have made in technology, why haven’t we invented some sort of mini prego crane that lifts you up with ease and grace? Stairs are also becoming a struggle as I hit 32 weeks. Had I not lived in a ground floor flat, I would have seriously considered getting a Stannah Stair Lift installed (not an #AD).

Tech is playing a huge part in helping mums to be and new mums embrace and adapt to all the changes our bodies go through. I for one am game for trying out anything that is going to help me feel myself, make the baby sleep and make my skin glow like I’ve had 10 hours sleep (so not asking for much really).

Here are my go to tech investments to glide us through this life transition:

PUMPING

Cutting-edge British femtech (yes that is a thing) brand Elvie have launched a wireless and completely silent breast pump. It is super discreet and connects to your phone with fuss free smartphone app. You can go about your day pumping away like no body’s business! Available @ https://www.elvie.com/shop/elvie-pump

LIGHTING

Whilst ‘great lighting’ for me was once all about the perfect golden-hour slot at a Fashion shoot or the ambient flicker of a Diptique candle, it is now fast becoming about the baby practicalities. How am I going to get up a million times a night to change nappies and feed? Meemoobaby Meelight clips to your clothing giving out a soothing glow, the sleeping babe goes undisturbed and you don’t have to fumble around in the dark like a mole. Ideal.

Available @ https://www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/

HANDSFEE

Having your hands free quite simply means you can get stuff done. If you are a Londoner with stairs and no lifts, life sans buggy means you can leave the house without feeling you are planning a military operation.  There are so many slings and carriers out there here are my top two:

Ergobaby Omni 360 Mesh Baby Carrier new born ready, offers various carry positions. Despite what Piers Morgan says Dads can wear comfortably without feeling emasculated. Available @https://www.johnlewis.com

Artipoppe have brought you a carrier that is not only practical but suitably chic, The Zeitgeist Baby Carrier by Artipoppe is a soft-structured baby carrier suitable from birth through toddlerhood. It comes in a variety of atheistically pleasing prints; Yes, by that I do mean leopard print to fuel the spots and dots addiction. Available @ https://artipoppe.com/

PELVIC TRAINING

I go to the gym and pretend to know what I am doing as much as the next person, but until I was confronted with childbirth I never knew how important it was to work on your pelvic muscles. The Elvie trainer is an award winning kegel trainer that helps work your pelvic floor through connecting to an app on your phone which has 5 different strengthening exercises. It is small and subtle so you can use it without anyone knowing. This is great for non preggos too boasting better bladder control and stronger orgasms.

Available @ https://www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/